For as long as I can remember it\u2019s been important for me to recognize and value the struggles of life.\u00a0 To recognize that faith doesn\u2019t mean ignoring pain and empty platitudes aren’t helpful when they make it seem like the \u201cfaithful\u201d don’t suffer. To give voice to things that could make people feel different or alone in a way that includes and validates, but in a way that also reminds us that God is always present, working and loving. Even in our pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m aware that I can be more emotional than some. I can even border on the melodramatic at times.\u00a0 The tears of another can send me crashing into deep sadness as easily as the beauty and fragility of a bird flying around my front flower bed can fill my heart with awe. But, more often than not, I live in a place of low-grade worry and pain.\u00a0 To be fair, our world is a mess, people are hurting, and life is hard. The least I can do is be honest about it and \u201csee\u201d those who feel unseen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But, today I am keenly aware that God has been massaging a few words deep into my soul over the last few weeks. Words that, to be honest, I struggle with. But, words that I know hold the keys to overcoming the struggles of life and that offer us access to a deep well of hope and joy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Gratitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Trust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Surrender. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You wouldn\u2019t think they would be so hard to say (or type) but it\u2019s almost as if recognizing their importance sets me up to fail in my obedience. To ignore or turn a blind eye to them often seems easier, and much more palatable, to my sinful and selfish heart – but God has kindly shown me that it also causes my suffering to last longer, go deeper and lose the meaning it could hold. It\u2019s my choice. It\u2019s always my choice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He is kind to give me choices. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He is good to forgive my choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He is patient to reveal different choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Choosing these paths can sometimes feel like I\u2019m being unfaithful to something valuable.\u00a0 Something that deserves my sorrow and anguish. Something that needs to be held up in reverence and pain as if that proves it held a deep importance in this world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But God seems to whisper to my heart that finding something to be grateful for in the middle of suffering doesn\u2019t negate that I am suffering.\u00a0 To trust that He is still in ultimate control when everything seems out of control doesn\u2019t mean I can\u2019t pound on His chest in prayer crying out \u201cwhy!?\u201d. To surrender to the path He is leading me down doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s easy, that I would have chosen it, or that I must paint on a smile when it\u2019s difficult. It simply means that, ultimately, He is my source of life. Not myself. Not my freedom. Not my comfort. Not my family, my health, my prestige, my relationships or even my very breath. He is life itself and that life, that love, does not end with the loss of something else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What it does mean is that I remind myself that I am deeply loved.\u00a0 That suffering well unites me deeper to the heart of my suffering Savior. That God\u2019s redemptive plan is not just for me as an individual but that it is for all of mankind AND creation. I have no idea how my story finds a place in the bigger, and more beautiful tapestry that He is weaving in the world, but, I believe that it does, and it will.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can choose resentment, bitterness, anger, unforgiveness, hopelessness or unbelief and find that the darkness becomes deeper as each day dawns.\u00a0 Or, I can choose trust, surrender, gratitude, love, forgiveness, hope, faith and find that the heaviness of suffering lightens as I refocus my heart onto the one that carries it better than I can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s a tenuous endeavor for sure. I choose well one day. I choose not so well the next. I find glimpses of peace and relief one day. I sink under the weight of grief the next. I see light one day. I grope in darkness the next. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And all the while\u2026my God is here.\u00a0 He is steady and true.\u00a0 He knows I am but dust; yet, He calls me higher in order to choose the heavenly because I am an eternal soul.\u00a0 I am not bound to the things of this world. But, when I forget\u2026He keeps me from falling too far.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The truth that He gently massaging into my soul is this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Circumstances don\u2019t dictate whether my soul is well.\u00a0 Living out the dream that I had for my life doesn\u2019t bring security and peace. Avoiding pain and heartache isn\u2019t what creates a life of rest and joy and purpose. All is well, security and peace are found, pain and heartache are born up ONLY when Jesus is near. Not when I give intellectual service to his presence but when I am united with His heart.\u00a0 When my heart sits in silence long enough to hear his words deep within my soul and my heart believes it. When my perspective changes from the things I want in this world to the things I want of Him.\u00a0 And when I can choose, to the best of my ability, to say to Him, \u201cWhere you lead, I will follow, with all the trust and love I can muster. Knowing that when I fail\u2026. You never will.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Psalms 84: 5-7 (TPT)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How enriched are they who find their strength in the Lord;\u00a0within their hearts are the highways of holiness!\u00a0Even when their paths wind through the dark valley of tears,<\/em> they dig deep to find a pleasant pool\u00a0where others find only pain.He gives to them a brook of blessing<\/em> filled from the rain of an outpouring.<\/em> They grow stronger and stronger with every step forward,<\/em> and the God of all gods will appear before them in Zion.<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n Scripture quotations marked TPT are from The Passion Translation\u00ae. Copyright \u00a9 2017, 2018, 2020 by Passion & Fire Ministries, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ThePassionTranslation.com.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" For as long as I can remember it\u2019s been important for me to recognize and value the struggles of life.\u00a0 To recognize that faith doesn\u2019t mean ignoring pain and empty platitudes aren’t helpful when they make it seem like the \u201cfaithful\u201d don’t suffer. To give voice to things that could make people feel different or […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1600,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,646,6,7],"tags":[182,232,243,246,274,305,341,405,486,529,556,562,572,594,595,609],"class_list":["post-1598","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-faith","category-grief","category-reflections","category-seasons","tag-faith","tag-god","tag-gratitude","tag-grief","tag-hope","tag-jesus","tag-love","tag-overcoming","tag-savior","tag-sorrow","tag-suffering","tag-surrender","tag-tears","tag-trust","tag-truth","tag-vulnerability"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1598","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1598"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1598\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1600"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1598"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1598"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1598"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}