I \u00a0love music. \u00a0Pretty much all music. Well… not so much heavy metal, but don’t hold that against me. \u00a0Occasionally I’ll torture my girls by making them listen to classic rock or songs from the 70’s but \u00a0I \u00a0think they like it more than they let on. \u00a0Sometimes I torture my husband with Neil Diamond. \u00a0I don’t think he ever likes that.<\/p>\n
One thing that I love about music is how it touches my soul. \u00a0When nothing \u00a0else can break through whatever I’m hiding behind, music can. When I’m lost and down, it never fails that God will put the perfect song in my path. \u00a0Take today for instance.<\/p>\n
I failed. \u00a0Screwed up. \u00a0Blew it big time. \u00a0However you want to say it the truth is that I did’t \u00a0act like a mature, loving, Godly mother. \u00a0I yelled at my daughter. \u00a0Not a great example, I know. \u00a0You have to understand that my mother never yelled. \u00a0Only once in my whole life did she even raise her voice and my brothers deserved it often. \u00a0In my ideal world I am patient and mature. \u00a0Able to work through any problem and every hormonal outburst with a simple \u00a0hug. \u00a0Wise enough to see through the smoke screens in order to get to the heart of any issue. \u00a0That’s my ideal world. \u00a0My reality is that I get my feelings hurt. \u00a0I lose my temper. \u00a0I resort to yelling in order to get someones attention. \u00a0I’m hormonal. \u00a0REALLY hormonal. \u00a0And I get lost in emotions very quickly only to lose sight of the goal of a discussion. \u00a0Anyone can win an argument with me. \u00a0Maybe that’s why I can get pretty tough. \u00a0Somehow, someway I feel the \u00a0need to make people listen to me and to respect me. \u00a0How childish is that?<\/p>\n
Needless to say, \u00a0I felt like crap. \u00a0And what happens when I feel like crap? \u00a0I remember all the other times I’ve screwed up. \u00a0Then I feel worse. \u00a0I make a list of faults all the while trying to tell myself that I’ve done more wonderful things than horrible things and that I’m not so bad. \u00a0I quickly start to question whether that is legitimate or if I’m just trying to make myself feel better. \u00a0You get the picture, don’t you? \u00a0It’s been a long tiring day.<\/p>\n
Then I sat still….and the music played through my head.<\/p>\n
A particular song that my oldest sent me last year. \u00a0A few weeks later my other two daughters were singing it on the way home from youth group. \u00a0A few months ago I found a really cool, hippy version of it on Youtube but I hadn’t heard it in a while. \u00a0Then it popped in my head. \u00a0A message from a loving God. \u00a0At least, \u00a0that’s what I think.<\/p>\n
“You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of the dust. \u00a0You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of us.”<\/p>\n
I sat down and cried. \u00a0I had already cried quite a bit out of the my guilt and regret, but these were tears of relief. \u00a0Yea, \u00a0I’m not perfect. \u00a0My kids probably won’t remember me as the mom that did everything right but I hope they remember me as the mom that loved them and loved God. \u00a0 I believe that we all do many more things right than we give ourselves credit for but I don’t want to gloss over the things we do wrong. \u00a0Without seeing my faults I can’t see my need for someone to save me from them. \u00a0Without seeing my need for a savior I can’t see my Jesus. When I don’t see my Jesus I miss out on the incredible transformation that He specializes in. \u00a0I’m a work in progress. \u00a0I pray that I’m better today than I was yesterday. \u00a0My hope is that God will \u00a0take my life, with all my failings and hangups, and continue to make me more and more beautiful.<\/p>\n
One song that my kids listen to spoke volumes of truth to my soul. \u00a0My God chose music to send me a love letter. \u00a0 A letter that said, “You are my daughter and you are beautiful. I love you.” \u00a0The same is true for you. \u00a0Letting myself off the hook is the hardest part. \u00a0Trusting Him to redeem my mistakes is my hope. \u00a0Knowing that I am forgiven and loved….priceless.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I \u00a0love music. \u00a0Pretty much all music. Well… not so much heavy metal, but don’t hold that against me. \u00a0Occasionally I’ll torture my girls by making them listen to classic rock or songs from the 70’s but \u00a0I \u00a0think they like it more than they let on. \u00a0Sometimes I torture my husband with Neil Diamond. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,3],"tags":[36,78,120,124,165,182,189,232,317,333,335,382,413,572],"class_list":["post-16","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-faith","category-family","tag-beautiful","tag-children","tag-cry","tag-dance","tag-emotions","tag-faith","tag-family","tag-god","tag-kids","tag-listen","tag-live","tag-music","tag-parents","tag-tears"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}