{"id":241,"date":"2014-07-04T15:08:31","date_gmt":"2014-07-04T15:08:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/simplymeandjeans.wordpress.com\/?p=241"},"modified":"2014-07-04T15:08:31","modified_gmt":"2014-07-04T15:08:31","slug":"seven-years-in-the-desert","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/?p=241","title":{"rendered":"Seven Years In The Desert"},"content":{"rendered":"

(I reread one of my journal entries today and am amazed at God’s faithfulness to lead us out of dark places.Thank you, Jesus.)\u00a0\"desert\"<\/a><\/del><\/p>\n

September 20, 2013<\/p>\n

The thought that God takes each of us into a uniquely designed desert to prepare us for what’s ahead \u00a0seems somewhat comforting –\u00a0\u00a0if it’s true. \u00a0I wonder if it counts, though, \u00a0when\u00a0our sin and faithlessness\u00a0leads us into\u00a0those dry , lonely, cracked valleys. \u00a0Is our length of stay in that \u00a0barren landscape determined by Him or by our own choices?\u00a0Both, I’m sure.\u00a0\u00a0How I wish \u00a0I learned quicker and heard clearer so my time in this place would have been over long ago.<\/p>\n

But, today I had a momentary thrill\u00a0when I thought I’d\u00a0felt a rain drop on my face. \u00a0As if a cool wind from some summit nearby had blown life into \u00a0these dry bones – albeit for just a second.\u00a0\u00a0My cloudy, dusty eyes seem to see the silhouette of a beautiful mountain range. \u00a0I want to believe and run towards it, \u00a0but the fear that it’s simply a\u00a0mirage makes me doubt and stand motionless in apathy. I realize how weak these days in the desert have made me. \u00a0But….I realize that this one rain drop could be the beginning of life again. \u00a0The\u00a0revelation that this trek across the desert started \u00a06 1\/2 years ago startles me. That long? \u00a0Almost 7 years? \u00a0Could it almost be over?<\/p>\n

I remember the long and lonely walks that took me from a place of purpose, joy and fulfillment into an unknown world of fear, loneliness, anger, \u00a0sadness, \u00a0sin \u00a0and doubt. \u00a0I know that circumstances pointed\u00a0me in this direction but my brokenness chased me into the dunes…and I haven’t known how to escape. \u00a0There have been days, sometimes weeks, when I’ve stumbled into the direction that might take\u00a0me to your heights, but something would always get me disoriented and I’d find myself back among the cactus and lizards.<\/p>\n

Dry. Empty. Dead inside.<\/p>\n

Always knowing that I was in desperate need of rain.<\/p>\n

Always knowing I needed beauty and life.<\/p>\n

Always knowing I needed to find my way back to you.<\/p>\n

But this morning I sensed that this journey may be ending and \u00a0my soul stirred, albeit with fear and trepidation . \u00a0Tonight you opened my eyes to this thought – deserts come in order to prepare us for\u00a0something new. \u00a0I hope so! I’m desperate for that to be true! I’m ready to stand on it and to kill fear for it… I think.<\/p>\n

So my question now is why? \u00a0What have I learned? How am I different? \u00a0What have you done\u00a0\u00a0in this place to prepare me? \u00a0I’m desperate to know what you’re saying to me…for my\u00a0heart to remember its gifts and \u00a0calling…to hear the words that you have\u00a0pronounced over me again.<\/p>\n

I can almost\u00a0feel the gentleness\u00a0of the breeze that lingers and dances through \u00a0the trees. \u00a0I can\u00a0almost taste the sweetness of the water that’s\u00a0clear and cool and abundant. \u00a0I can almost hear\u00a0the sounds of life running, flying and singing \u00a0all around me…and I can’t wait to live in that place. \u00a0In a place I’ve never known before that is so intimate and true that fear, doubt and insecurity\u00a0can’t survive there. \u00a0A place\u00a0that teaches me to live only for and through you. \u00a0A place where\u00a0my life is \u00a0poured out for the praise of your glory and my heart is still in your presence.<\/p>\n

Let it rain.<\/p>\n

[twitter-follow screen_name=’kbug66′]<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(I reread one of my journal entries today and am amazed at God’s faithfulness to lead us out of dark places.Thank you, Jesus.)\u00a0 September 20, 2013 The thought that God takes each of us into a uniquely designed desert to prepare us for what’s ahead \u00a0seems somewhat comforting –\u00a0\u00a0if it’s true. \u00a0I wonder if it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":242,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[133,155,156,209,240,305,448,479],"class_list":["post-241","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-faith","tag-desert","tag-drought","tag-dry","tag-flood","tag-grace","tag-jesus","tag-rain","tag-rut"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=241"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/242"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=241"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=241"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/karenlawson.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=241"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}