Today someone asked me to say a few words about the importance of silence in the life of a believer. Funny thing – my brain went silent.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All I could think to say was that it\u2019s hard for me AND I desperately need it. If I\u2019m honest, I don\u2019t have any wise words or intellectual understanding of this practice. It’s mysterious to me. But, the solitary moments that I have with God are so personal and intimate that I\u2019m not sure those words would make sense to anyone anyway. Maybe that\u2019s the idea.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I get alone with God and choose to shut my mouth, He meets with me in a way that he doesn\u2019t meet with anyone else because He knows me.\u00a0\u00a0Better than I know myself.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I took a walk so I could think about what I wish I would have said and two thoughts came to mind. The first is that silence has opened a whole new world of worship to my heart. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00a0It could be my age, but, the need to kneel in silent worship is deeper than I\u2019ve ever known it to be.\u00a0\u00a0The realization of what God has done for me, what He is capable of doing and what He promises for eternity\u2026well\u2026it leaves me speechless. I believe poetic words and beautiful lyrics are gifts that God cherishes.\u00a0\u00a0But, as I am more and more in awe of God\u2019s faithful forgiveness, power and love for messy humans, I\u2019m convicted that, sometimes, everything but silent awe falls short.\u00a0\u00a0He invites me into His holy presence. Me! Not as a member of the global Church. Not because He\u2019s obligated to allow me to come before him but because He loves me and wants to be with me. The God of all creation whose power bogles my mind asks me to seek Him and promises that I will find Him. That leaves me facedown before him in gratitude.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The other thought I have about silence and solitude is that it reveals my pride and my propensity to \u201ccreate\u201d or \u201ccontrol\u201d my world. It strips away all of me so that I can know him more.\u00a0\u00a0And yes, it\u2019s as painful as it sounds.\u00a0\u00a0And it doesn\u2019t happen quickly.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are moments of silence and then there are seasons of silence.\u00a0\u00a0It sometimes takes a season to move my heart from \u201cThis is amazing” to \u201cIt\u2019s really quiet in here\u201d to \u201cHow long do I have left\u201d to \u201cAm I going crazy\u201d to \u201cI\u2019m not gonna make it!\u201d to…FINALLY… \u201cOH! There you are God.\u201d\u00a0It is terrifying and it is beautiful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Setting apart that kind of time for silence and solitude isn\u2019t on the top 10 list for most of us. That\u2019s understandable.\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s strange, scary and unnatural.\u00a0\u00a0At least for me it is. The distraction of my phone, computer, music, friends, family, responsibilities, etc. keep me comfortable in a constant hum of activity. Purposefully separating my heart from all of that and placing myself in a quiet chamber of solitude has highlighted that my biggest distraction is actually myself.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When left with nothing but me and God, I find that my mind starts working overtime. I might try to fabricate an experience, reason my way to right answers for all the hard questions, judge the validity of other\u2019s actions, entertain myself with creative ideas, question God\u2019s existence, fall into despair, or even pat myself on the back for how capable and holy I am.\u00a0\u00a0But, given enough time and silence, God always guides me back to the humble realization of my need for Him.\u00a0\u00a0After my mind tries to fix the uncomfortable silence and once I come to the end of my pride, I am left with the reality that my world, as I create and sustain it, is futile and meaningless. But God\u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It’s in that uncomfortable silence that I finally fall to my knees in surrender and Abba lifts my head, looks in my eyes and says, \u201cThere you are, my dear.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Without the pretense, without the pain, without the pride, without the fear, and without the noise\u2026My Daddy picks me up, whispers words that are uniquely and intimately for me and breaths rest, peace and hope into my soul. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I guess this is what I wish I would have said. Silence has simply driven me into the arms of an incredibly good and loving Father. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
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