Becoming a Country Wife

I like country music. I like how it tells a story that average people understand.  I like that it stirs up emotions and memories in my mind.  I like that it often portrays a life-style that holds to traditional values  and that it can make me  bust out dancing when I hear a familiar riff.

Lately though, I really like how it makes me want to be a better wife

I’ve caught myself over the years listening to songs and thinking, “I wonder if Steve feels that way about me?”

Please don’t misunderstand me.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my husband adores me. Not only by what he says but more importantly by what he does.  He purposefully finds ways to serve me, to listen to me, to protect me and to support me and there isn’t a day that goes by that he doesn’t tell me he loves me.  But I don’t know that any of us are as eloquent with words as songwriters and I bet we’ve all heard  lyrics here or there that made us sigh and say, “I want someone to say that about me.”  For example, (and I realize he’s not anywhere close to country) Rod Stewart’s line “You’re every love song that’s ever been written” is one of those lines for me.  Some women may argue, but I would guess that most would love for a man to think she’s “every love song” rolled up into one amazing woman.

Any genre of music can portray love in a way that makes us long for its’ soul satisfying depth.   But, how often do we turn it around and ask, “Am I that kind of woman?”  Or, “Do I love my husband that well?”

The reality is I don’t.  I mess up and I can be annoyingly self-absorbed.  Until recently, even after 25 years of marriage, I still didn’t have a clue how to understand my man. As a member of the “emotionally aware and perceptive” gender, that’s pretty humiliating to admit.

I have a playlist of songs that have accompanied me through countless hours of mowing this summer.  They started off as fun music to listen to along with all the other genres that I enjoy but they quickly became my tutors.  Patient teachers that revealed areas of weakness in how I loved.   Portraits of the woman I want to be:

A wife who provides safe arms to land in when life is hard, who believes in her husband more than anyone else, who enjoys the little things in life, is content and joyful, is as comfortable in an old t-shirt as a fancy dress, is a bundle of beautiful contradictions, can find the beauty in the world around her, shares her thoughts and feelings but can stand on her own two feet and…most importantly…a woman who loves so deeply that her man knows- beyond a shadow of a doubt- that he has what it takes.

Yep, I got all that from country music.  Go figure.

But I’ll tell you one thing.  I doubt that there’s a man out there that doesn’t read this and think, “I wish someone would love me like that.”  I figure it’s about time that I stopped wanting that kind of love and started giving that kind of love.  Like a friend use to tell me in college, “Stop looking for the perfect man and become  the perfect woman.” I don’t think either exists but I’ll get a lot more done by working on the latter.

By the way….I’m thinking that sounds like a great country song, don’t ya think?

Love y’all.

Karen