Advent, Christmas and a Slow January

I’m a list maker. In fact, I’m one of those people that adds completed tasks to my list so I can feel something has been accomplished. I was organized in my twenties but, over time, life seems to have become more chaotic and less orderly. It could be that I’ve accumulated more stuff and more responsibilities. It could be a lack of focus (that I will choose to blame on hormones). It could be that the internet has simply increased the speed of life. But, regardless of the reason, the last few years have felt like a high speed train about to derail and I’ve often had to remind myself to stop and take a very…deep… breath.

This is why I’m grateful to have learned about “Slow January” a few years ago. I’ve never been much for resolutions but I have felt the self-induced pressure to write a Christmas letter for friends, start on December 1st to read through my journals, take down all Christmas decorations and receive a “word” from God for the new year all before the final countdown on December 31st. Whether or not everything was accomplished didn’t seem to matter. The goal was there and it often stole the joy of the season.

I didn’t grow up with the Liturgical Calendar but it has been a blessing to me over the last few years. There’s a wisdom and beauty to the rhythm it creates that feels necessary for my soul. Advent and Christmas, specifically, have been a remedy for the chaos and speed that this age seems to stir up in my heart, my life, and my body. Even though I wrote Advent devotionals about “waiting” for years and even though I realized Christmas actually begins on December 25th and is observed for twelve days after that, I rushed and stressed and tried to cram everything I could into a few weeks during December. It wasn’t until this year that I actually allowed the knowledge of the Church Calendar to change my habits, slow my life down and teach me something about God.

It’s now January 10th.

I just finished reading through my journals this morning and have thoroughly enjoyed the slow pace of reading, pondering and talking to God about last year. It took me longer than usual but there was a lot that He had to unravel and reveal to me about the last twelve months. In that slow and relaxed conversation I saw, more clearly, God’s patience, kindness and understanding toward my frailties.

I didn’t get Christmas letters out, gingerbread houses made, or a Christmas dinner organized for my friends. I would have liked to have done all that but it was more important to slow down, simplify, and be present and purposeful during Advent. That focus gave me “permission” to really savor all that it and Christmas mean instead of rushing through the busyness of the season. I spent time considering what the world was like before Christ’s birth and how desperately Israel must have wanted their Savior. When I heard of the next “crazy” news item of our day, it simply reminded me of how desperately we… I…still need a Savior. Calvin Miller’s “The Singer” was a gift I discovered this season and his imaginative words seemed to teach me, in a new way, about the incredible and incomprehensible love of God for humanity.

“‘They’re crying Troubadour,’ He said ‘They cry so hopelessly.’ He gave the tiny planet to His Son who also held it by His ear. ‘Year after weary year they all keep crying. They seem born to weep then die.’ Then with his nail He scraped the atmosphere and both of them beheld the planet bleed. Earthmaker set earth spinning on its way and said, ‘Give Me your vast infinity, My Son; I’ll wrap it in a bit of clay.‘

And, as a person who previously took decorations down by December 26th, it’s astounding to me that my Christmas tree is still up. I spent twelve days after Christmas thanking God for the blessings of my life and recognizing grace upon grace he has lavished over me – even on the darkest days. I’m in no hurry to take the tree down because gazing at the brightness of those lights each evening is something I look forward to everyday as I quote these verses.

“Even the darkness is not dark to you. The night shines like the day; darkness and light are alike to you.” Psalm 139:12

“The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; a light has dawned on those living in the land of darkness.” Isaiah 9:2

“In him was life, and that life was the light of men. That light shines in the darkness, and yet the darkness did not overcome it.” John 1:4-5

This slow Grand Examen of the last year along with a slower pace of walking into the new year has gifted me a peace that I’ve needed in this crazy world. It’s also shown me how consistent God is in providing for and protecting me through every season of life. I don’t have to be worried or afraid when things seem dark because of the truth that is sung throughout Advent and Christmas from every corner of the world.

He…is…here.